Reinventing my Wheel

I’ve been in a rut lately.  I’m 28 and there are so many things that I want to learn, do, and see.  But all I ever find myself doing lately is working, working, working.  Like most of you all, I have bills to pay, a family I’m responsible for, and just the mundane, trivial life-sucking habits that happen to us when we grow up.  But, that’s an attitude I want to shed!  Today, I’ve decided to cultivate some life skills that will pour passion, inspiration, and happiness back into my life.

• Writing
• Cooking
• Creating

WRITING- When I was in the third grade, my favorite part of the day was our writing lesson.  We’d get prompts of things were supposed to write about that day in our journals.  I’d be so excited as our teacher wrote our day’s mission on the chalk board.  Would it be describing a picture of a forest filled with butterflies?   Maybe a persuasive letter to the President about how to bring world peace?  Or maybe a how-to article about making a peanut butter jelly sandwich?  Whatever it was, I was ready to take on the challenge and let the words pour out of me.  My teacher recognized this passion for writing and brought me to a young people’s writing conference downtown later that season.  It was exciting yet scary at the same time.  There were so many children.  All wanting to be writers and all with the same dreams like me.  We all gathered in an auditorium to be greeted by the sponsors of the event.  The first question the host asked the audience was, “Who wants to be a writer when they grow up?”  The question lingered with me as I saw all the little arms shoot up into the air while mine stayed timidly by my side.  I’ve always been a worrier.  It’s in my nature.  Did I want to become a writer when I grew up?  I didn’t know and not having that answer has stayed with me for a long time.  I’ve always wondered what could have happened if I had the courage to raise my hand that day in response to that haunting question.   But now, as I’ve gone through my life writing little short stories in secret and swallowing excuse after excuse, I’m facing my ghosts and telling my third grade self, “Yes!  You do want to become a writer!”

COOKING- There was a time when I refused to taste my homemade Vietnamese fish sauce (nuac mum) to see if I’d created the right balance of sweet, sour, and spicy.  I refused to use a recipe, because “I didn’t believe in them.”   I didn’t know the first thing about how to make a soup.  And I didn’t know how powerful the art of seasoning could be.  Why?  Why all the ignorance and stubbornness?  It was silly.  So I decided to really focus and learn how to become a better cook.  Ever since I’ve poured over countless CookingLight, Gourmet, and GoodLiving magazines.  I’ve been glued to watching America’s Test Kitchen.  And I always have a stack of cooking books on my kitchen table ready to pluck a recipe or tip from one of them.  But there’s still so much to learn!  I want to test my hand at French cooking like Julia Childs, I want to make something in a Moraccan tangine, I don’t want to be scared of souffles, and so on and so on.

CREATING- My mom came to this country when she was 17.  The first job she got when she was in the US was to become a sewing employee for a large garment factory.  She worked 14 hour days.  She slaved over a sewing machine and still did hand stitching when she came home.  We didn’t have a lot when we were growing up and I remember my mom making our clothes.  I still look at the pictures of me and my sister wearing hand knitted sweaters and our hair tied up in yarn.  As we grew up, things got better and I never learned how to sew or knit myself.  I wonder if my mother never taught me because it reminded her of how hard she struggled when she immigrated here.  Or maybe it was my own selfish attitude of not wanting to learn.  There’s so much hindsight when we grow up, isn’t there?  Things we wished we knew back then that we know so well now.  Well, there’s never a better time then the present.  So I’m deciding to learn how to sew and knit.  To create and make beautiful things.  To be able to make my mother a sweater or a throw blanket to show her that I love her and appreciate everything she’s ever done and gone through to make a better life for our family.  And to also try to make my own clothes and make my mother proud.

Okay, enough of all this emotional reminiscing.  I hope this journey leads me on a path to self-enlightenment.  And I hope you enjoy it with me.  Thanks.